I Remember

Well, it's been some time since I last wrote anything. But today I have some words replaying in my mind that need to get out. Anyone who enjoys writing will tell you that writing cleanses the soul and my soul is in need of a deep deep deep cleanse. As I wrote these words, I won't lie and say I completely contained myself.  This entry is deeply personal and stems from one of the hardest goodbyes I've faced to date - and am still facing. But as I read over my words, I realized a very powerful realization; I am answering a question mothers ask themselves daily. 

"What will my children remember?"

If you're anything like me, I constantly ask myself after every battle, will she remember that? Will she remember I yelled? Will she remember I cried? & now I'm on the flipped side; I'm replaying the memories. I can't remember the times I got into trouble, or the times I talked back (even though I did this all too often), & I can't remember any specific days that were just terrible. What I do remember are the moments and times my nanny defined motherhood for me. 

Oh, you didn't know motherhood has defining moments? It does. We just can't always know what we are "defining". We don't even realize it's being defined because for most, it's just what you do. It's just how you act. It's just how you love. 

So this entry is dedicated to my main lady, the woman who would give up everything just to make sure I had it. The woman who defined motherhood. 

I remember when things were really bad one night, you said God woke you up & you knew you had to leave right away. You saved us just in time, you are the reason I know God exists. I remember all the time you spent rocking me to sleep in the wooden chair that's still in your living room, that probably lasted until I was 5 because I just loved the songs you'd sing and the books you'd read. I remember praying with you every morning on the way to preschool.

 I remember when I had eye surgery & you took care of me 24/7 because I couldn't open my eyes for a week. & I remember the day I did open my eyes you had to endure an entire day of the best show ever (Rugrats) because there was a marathon. I remember the Girl Scout "mommy & me" camping trip, I remember that I was embarrassed that I had to go with you because I didn't have a mom to take me. & then I remember how you tried to make it so fun and go completely out of your element so that I would forget that & enjoy myself. You never even take your shoes off in your own home, literally. & yet you walked in the dirt to take me to the bathroom because you couldn't find your shoes. I remember that we didn't bring any food with us because you didn't know we needed it so you drove an hour there & back to get groceries for us. & then everyone was so jealous because we had the best snacks. 

I remember the day we moved into the Big Blue Mansion & you taught me how to make lasagna, I still can't cook lasagna without thinking of you. I remember that when you picked me up from school I would tell you I just HAD to have (whatever was in style) & you would say, "ok, let's go shopping!". I still blame you for my emotional shopping, but you did teach me a girl can never have too many shoes.

I remember going with you every year to market & we'd go to six flags while you shopped. But you always brought me something home. I remember you at every basketball game, track meet, school awards, and basically anything and everything you could come to. I remember when I wanted a $300 prom dress & papa said no, & you told him you were buying it. I remember how you would sing worship songs every morning because I could hear you before I even got out of bed, I was so annoyed & then when I finally moved out that was one of the things I missed the most & wished I could hear you sing again.

I remember the look on your face when we tried on wedding dresses & your face when we found the one. I remember how scared I was the night before my wedding & I cried so much & you slept in bed with me & told me how wonderful it was going to be. You told me how much you loved Joe but even more, you told me how much you knew Joe loved me, that he was the one, & I was going to be just fine with him by my side. 

I remember how you spent 30 hours in a hospital while I was in labor with Jorgia & how you held my hand & cried with me & told me you wished you could take all the pain away. I remember the look on your face when I told you I was having twins & the look on your face when you held them for the first time. 

I remember all the things you did for me & all you did with me. 

You told me you were scared that you would forget, I told you it would be ok because I would remember. 

 I remember. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Articles Don't Define My Parenting

It's like one day I just decided to stop blogging, only it wasn't really intentional. One day led to another day, another day led to another and another and another. & before I knew it I hadn't blogged in weeks, months. I just can't seem to find the time to do it all like other mommy bloggers! But today, I'm finding time & I figured, one good post every so often means just as much as several mediocre posts. 

So this: 

This is where my time goes. This is where my heart lies. 

My time goes to pirates and princesses. To cooking breakfast and changing diapers. To folding laundry and attempting to get it put away within 1-2 weeks time. To teaching words, manners, numbers, and colors. To loving, living, and showing. 

& this, this is why I don't blog. But today, I want to write. 

I want to write and tell you that so many times people tell me, "oh you've got your hands full. Oh you're such a great mother. Oh how do you do it all?" 

& really, those comments are flattering and encouraging and wonderful. But deep down when you ask how I do it all, I really really want to reply with this:  

"I do every parenting no-no that you constantly post articles about." 

& I know, that's terrible. It is. But hey, that's me. & that's the truth. Articles don't define my parenting. Situations define my parenting. 

I parent differently by situational circumstances. 

I'm just as guilty as posting articles about parenting as the next mom. But the articles aren't really what gets to me. It's the comments you write when you post it. It's the arrogance of your comments back to the mom decided to post in disagreement of your words/the article. & sure, I mean we're all "to each their own" as we comment on controversial subjects and then loudly groan and immediately bad talk that mom to your husband. Oh, you don't do that? Ya, me neither. I never talk to my husband about disagreeing with parenting approaches.  Ever. 

Moving on.

If you can't talk and vent to your husband than who can you talk to? That's the difference. Certain things are better left unsaid. & certain things are better left for face to face conversations because words written can be misconstrued. But, it's fine to disagree with someone. It's fine to be pro spanking, against spanking, pro homeschool, pro public, etc etc etc etc --basically post any controversial subject here. ITS FINE. But, please be mindful of your tone and position. Please be open to hearing someone's reasoning, perspective, and thoughts on the subject. 

There currently is not, has never, and will never be a perfect way to parent every single child. 

So, the disproven theories on the subject that I strongly agree with mean about the same to me as me explaining the disproven theory I used that worked for my family like a charm to you. & Oh, I'm telling you to hide the veggie in your meal - & you're like listen, all my kid will eat is fish sticks. Move along. 

& basically, I'm just saying - articles and friends and our own moms can tell us 5 million things on how/what to do...But, those 5 million things may not pertain to your baby. 

I'm not against articles and advice. In any way. In fact, I LOVE reading articles and learning parenting styles/approaches. I'm just saying, I am not defined by a theory. I fit no parenting technique/label. I fit many. I do what's best in each situation, sometimes that means spanking and other times that means redirection. Sometimes that means time outs and sometimes that means one on one attention time. 

The only thing that defines my parenting are the smiles I get from my kids. The hugs, the laughs, the memories. My kids define my parenting. It's all for them anyways.  

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife 

I'm Always Busy

I've been inevitably busy the past few months. Suddenly, my twins were both on the move- sweet Jessa is walking! J is more challenging by the day, sometimes behavior wise but mostly just being 2 & needing activities & attention. & my sweet Joey, the kid is right behind is sissy & trying to keep up. I swear he'll be walking soon! 

My smokin' hot husband & I are leading a connect group this fall for our church. We are enjoying are group- the lessons, the get togethers, & of course the people- but I've definitely taken on much more than I like. I love CG & think they are vital for growth, but sometimes they are more of a hassle than enjoyable for me. Next year, I'll sit on the sidelines. 

Excuse my inconsistent blogging, I wish I had the time to write every time a subject crossed my mind. I wish I could pour out all the thoughts & feelings that race through me all day, every day. I wish. 

I always seem to come back to this point:busy. I hate busy. & yet it seems to find me & I seem to chase it. How do you stop busy? How do you stop life? HOW do I say no to all the people who want & need me to do things? How do I say no to the parties of the people who always make it to ours? If you've figured out how  to do these things, let me know. 

I miss so much while I'm busy. I miss simple Saturdays spent doing nothing but whatever our family chooses. I miss teachable moments because I'm rushing to an appointment or a play date. I miss sweet smiles who just want to be held. I miss quiet moments that could be spent celebrating what I have. I miss much more, but I get so busy, I don't have time to think about what I'm missing. 

It's only November & I'm already thinking of New Year Resolutions. & this coming year, I have only 1. 

-take time & enjoy life. 

All the beauty and all the chaos and all the quiet. Enjoy every moment without thinking about the next. Embrace the now and stop missing the moments I'll never get back. 

Is busy affecting your life? If so, I challenge you to think about what you could gain from taking time to enjoy life.

For me, I'll gain memories. I'll gain more energy and less stress. I'll gain family time. I'll gain myself, my children, and my husband back. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Harmon House Goes Camping: Meals

I planned out our meals about 2 weeks before. I'm a freak like that. Plus I like scanned Pinterest like a crazy lady trying to not have hot dogs both nights 😳 I'm all for hot dogs BUT I like my family having a little better nutrition if possible. Anyways, here's what we did. 

We left Friday after I got back from the dentist so we only needed dinner on Friday. I wanted J to have the full camping experience so Friday dinner plan was old fashioned hot dogs, chips, & s'mores! ...I may or may not have made her eat fruit right when we got there just to make myself feel better... BUT GUESS WHAT HAPPENED. There was a burn ban. Ugh! So we couldn't even do s'mores! We did cook hot dogs & have chips & fruit on the side. But sometime soon we are definitely camping in the backyard & cooking s'mores! J's too young to realize that she missed out on the BEST parts of camping: campfires & roasted marshmallows. Luckily, her spirit wasn't too damaged :) 

Saturday I knew would be a crazy filled nonstop moving day. So, definitely loaded up with proteins & carbs! For breakfast I pre-made burritos. I wrapped them in foil so we could just throw them right on the grill to warm up. THEY WERE FANTASTIC!!! & the tortillas got a little crispy (I suggest rotating the burritos while cooking, switching the ones directly over the flame- one mistake I made) but the fact that they got crispy actually made them better. Inside the burritos I put sausage, eggs, cheese, & cottage cheese. (I always put cottage cheese in scrambled eggs because it makes it fantasticccccc- TRY IT. Now. You're welcome.) also, we had pre-cut up melon :) 

For Saturdays lunch/snacks I made simple sandwiches & packed chips, apples, granola bars, & bananas. We were hiking literally all day. Or sight seeing. I think next time I might make some "lunchables" or wraps for myself. Sandwiches were fine but I like fresh sandwiches more than pre-made. But nevertheless, all tummies were happy. 

Saturday nights dinner was barbeque chicken, corn on the cob with chili butter, & we were also supposed to have beans but decided against them simply because I was too lazy to wash the pan. No shame & no regrets. I pre-seasoned the chicken & froze it so by the time we were ready to eat it would be thawed out.  Worked really well! BUT I forgot barbeque sauce! Luckily, my seasoning tastes so well it was still ok but I love sauces for my chicken so I definitely wish we had had some! I know a lot of people like grilled corn on the cob but I actually like mine softer than what the grill cooks it so I pre-boiled mine & wrapped them in foil to put on the grill to warm up. I found this AMAZING chili butter recipe (I'll have to post later, doing a quick nap post right now) that I pre-made & packaged for us to put on the corn. Again, I had happy tummies! 

We didn't pack anything for Sunday because we planned to leave first thing in the morning & stop for breakfast on the road. We ended up leaving Saturday night (will post about why in the "hardships/mistakes" post) so it actually worked perfect. 

For drinks we packed waters & gaterades.  

Overall, everything went great. I'm hoping next time we have longer to camp out because we all really enjoyed ourselves! I'm sorry I didn't get any pictures but I was very focused on not using my phone & enjoying my sweet family. I enjoy blogging but I don't live for it. So I knew I needed to take pictures for my posts but, I also knew that my babies needed some time away from this crazy fast paced world so that was more important. :) we did take our phones on the hikes so I'll have those pictures in another post! 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Harmon House Goes Camping: Part 1

I'm really just not sure where to start or what order to post all the information that went into camping/how camping went. So, I decided breaking it up into parts is the best way to provide all info/not stress me out :) So we're going to start with the prepping/planning of our camping trip. & a few overall details of the trip. 

Wichita Wildlife Refuge

I chose this one (it's about 3 hrs away) specifically for Joe. There's plenty of closer places to camp but my husband is a fan of boulder hopping & the refuge is great for that. He's been wanting to go but since the refuge is 3 hours away, it's not ideal for him to go alone as he would be gone all day. My FIL took us there when we were first married & we actually found out later that I was pregnant at the time. Looking back now it actually makes perfect sense because 1. I was nauseous nearly the entire ride & 2. I ate an entire footlong Subway sandwich in one sitting as opposed to saving half of it for the trail. I was so hungry! & now we know why :) anyways, I chose this for him so that he could go one morning by himself for some alone time. We loved camping out here & will definitely go back again! 

We chose to tent camping because it's seriously SO cheap. It was only $10/night! And bonus: my FIL had camping gear that he let us use so no extra money spent on that! He had a huge tent, cooler, propane stove, ponchos, etc. They did a lot of camping growing up so we were super pleased he let us use the gear! All we had to buy was a few extra necessities. 

Here was our packing list: 

Food (will post our meal plan & details) 

Twin food- Plum organic packs, formula/bottles, 2 gallons of water, few jarred foods, gerber puffs, & oatmeal. 

Tent

Propane stove

Charcoal

Air mattress

Foam floor puzzle (we used this to make J's sleeping area softer)

Pack & play (twins still sleep in this together) 

Books/Activies (will post about this separately) 

Clothes/blankets

Flashlights 

Lighter fluid

Back packs (for hikes)

Few toys for twins

Bumbo's 

...I think that is nearly everything. The individual posts will go more in depth about things I think most family's want to know about when going with young kids; meals, activities, hardships, etc. 

I just wanted to give a short update & give my readers a few posts to be looking out for & to let you all know I'm working on gathering the information so that you can have a fun & stress free camping trip too! 

How many of you enjoy camping? What is something you can't live without when you go? I'd love to hear your ideas!

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Creation

The past few weeks I started back with a few more planned activities rather than just providing random learning opportunities for J. I had some extra kiddos so for some days, it made it easier, & others it was a little more difficult. For the past 2 weeks I've had five kids as opposed to just my 3...& they were all (all 5!) under 2. So it was...an experience. But, some days for the activities it made it easier because J had her good buddy Nolan to play with! 

Anyways... Our focus was creation. 

Here are some things we did/talked about/explored: 

Nature/Animals was the smaller focal point for the past few weeks. 

-We made collages using stickers, magazine cut outs, and things from outside. The kids really enjoyed this using the different textures & choosing how to stick then on the poster. They chose tape  & glue. It was messy, it was trial and error, and it was interesting to watch as they explored all the available supplies and utilized them. Collages will definitely be making more appearances in the Harmon House! 

-We read several books over creation. Including: bible for kids app, bible story rhymes, our actual kids bible, and story books about creation. 

-We also read books about animals and nature such as gardening, forests, oceans, etc. 

-We had bean sensory play and talked about how all of our food was grown and we discussed our favorite foods. 

-We painted with apples and learned various words that start with A. (Next week the small focal points will be family/relationship/self so Adam & Eve will be discussed {hence the apple})

-They older two cooked lunch one day. Again, discussed foods, gardening, etc. They did everything from cracking eggs (where did the egg come from discussing),  making smoothies, & spreading their jam on toast. 

-Nature walk to collect things & play/explore with them. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So these are some things we've been doing. But I feel the need to remind all my reading mommas that the biggest opportunities for learning come unexpectedly and are child-led. Yes, I plan the activities and have hopes for a certain outcome but when doing anything, it's basically an invitation to play. & most of the conversations are done during an activity & I just guide the conversation. There are times when we're doing something & J completely changes gears and starts talking about something she wants to do, I roll with it. That sends the message to me she's not ready or is tired of talking/doing play with me. She is so young that my goal is not to make sure she learns everything, my goal is to open her mind to all the possibilities and to let her explore with them freely. 

I'd also like to say that we did/discussed more things but the above listed where our biggest endeavors. & the above mentioned activities covered much more than what meets the eyes. Fine motor, language development, math, science, reading, gross motor, etc - various developmental/educational areas were covered. All by using play! 

I'd love to hear what you're doing with your kiddos! 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

For the days you feel insignificant...

Today, I woke up exhausted. We've been blessed with babies who sleep through the night, but teething hell is our current situation in the Harmon House. x2. Just as you get one baby down and get back to sleep yourself, the other wakes up. 

So I'm starting my days in exhaustion. With a near 2 year old who's eager to play and be entertained. With two 7 month olds who need me for everything. With a house that needs cleaned, meals that need cooked, and errands that need to be taken care of. 

I look around... 

& all I can see is what needs to be done.

& all I can hear is "Mommy play. Mommy mommy mommy. I want you to help me. Mommy I want drink. Mommy I need you. Mommy mommy mommy."

& all I can feel is the headache from yesterday that crept into today. 

& all I can smell is diapers. Diapers that desperately need to be changed. 

Hours pass.

Sippy's have been filled. Diapers have been changed. Meals cooked. Snacks made. House tidied (no way it's getting actually cleaned). Several hugs, several kisses, several break downs, & several tears have come and gone. 

I look around...

& all I can see is happy children. 

& all I can hear is "Mommy play. Mommy mommy mommy. I want you to help me. Mommy I want drink. Mommy I need you. Mommy mommy mommy."

& all I can feel is gratitude. Pure gratitude. 

I start and end my day in exhaustion. But somewhere in the middle, sometime during all the errands, mommy tasks, wife tasks, and life tasks- I find enjoyment. I find peace. I find perseverance. I find happiness. I find self worth. I find the reason for it all. 

& everything I do, I know I'll do tomorrow. 

& there are days when my days seem insignificant...when I'm not bringing home a paycheck and no one tells me what a good job I'm doing. I don't get promotions. I don't get vacation days. No one thanks me for the meal I worked hard on. No one thanks me for the laundry I washed and folded. No one thanks me for changing diapers, making bottles, or rocking them to sleep. There are days when I don't feel like anyone knows what I do to keep this house running the way it should. 

& then my children smile at me. They crawl into my lap. J gives me Eskimo kisses. Jessa clings to me like someone's trying to yank her away. & Joey, my sweet little man, he leans his head into my chest and looks up with just his four little teeth shining...and with that look, those actions, I realize they're saying , "Thank you mom."

& everything I thought was insignificant vanishes in that moment. Because nothing- not one word, one kiss, one bottle made or one meal cooked- not one thing I do as a mother is insignificant.

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife