Momships

Before you had kids, all you had were friendships. After kids, you had friendships & then you were introduced to Momships.

Momships are pretty much like friendships except you're really only getting together because your kids play well. If you're really lucky, your Momship will turn into a friendship. & if you're really really lucky, a friendship with sail over into Momship when your both in the same stage of life. 

But Momships are entirely different than friendships in two key areas: 

-defensiveness 

-forgiveness 

Ok, let's be honest, when your kids are involved, how many of you get entirely too defensive? (My hand is raised.) You literally cannot try & tell a mom anything negative, "constructive" criticism, or different views on subjects that particular mom is passionate about. Example:: someone tried to tell me that I shouldn't babywear because it will make my children too dependent. ---I'm an avid baby wearer & wish I had more wraps/carriers. Obviously, I fully disagree with that statement so it got me pretty heated! Another example:: breastfeeding/bottle feeding. This is not an area you want to go with any mom if you're close minded on either side. & then that brings me to forgiveness, it's entirely harder to forgive Momships because it's usually disagreements over your kids or parenting. 

Let's be clear about this, I'm 100% guilty of being on both sides. But I really do try to be open to pretty much all things. Why? Because I also 100% believe that every mom out there is just trying to do what's best for her kids, her family, and her self. I feel as if sometimes, it's just hard to see past what we want because we always feel our way is THE way. 

& I've finally come to the conclusion, there is no ONE way to parent effectively. I actually read that on a blog awhile back & I'm paraphrasing here but he basically said, "If there are a million kids out there, there are a million different ways to parent. " 

Wow, way to slap me in the face with some stone cold truth! I've never read a more accurate statement about parenting. 

So I'm basically writing this so that maybe other moms can see that statement, & maybe it can save your Momships. 

"I don't need Momships!" - says the doubting homebody mom. 

Yes, you really do. Here's why: 

1. Momships share & fully know "the struggle". --you're late? No problem. Been there. You yelled at your kids today? Don't beat yourself up. Been there. You have to cancel literally last minute? Absolutely no problem, been there. 

2. Momships have full open range to brag about your kids. You can totally send your Momship a picture of your kids doing nothing but being cute. Why? Because they get it. 

3. Momships are totally cool with your messy house. Need I say more? 

4. Momships are completely okay that you're in the sweatpants from yesterday & that you can't exactly remember if you put deodorant on that morning. But, your kids look adorable. That's what matters. 

5. Momships have the potential to be the greatest friendships of your life. Let it happen. Enjoy the struggle, the joy, & the bond that comes with motherhood. 

I only wish I had known these things about Momships while pregnant with J. I'm just now seeing the greatness that comes with Momships and I feel so blessed God's brought me moms to share life with. I cherish my Momships, because most have turned into genuine friendships. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

A Work In Progress

There's something beautiful about going off the grid. It's like a cleanse of all things unnecessary. I finally deactivated my Facebook today, I felt excited. I felt happy. I felt free. I haven't decided if it is a permanent thing or if it's temporary, but I know that for now, it's what I needed. 

Social media literally consumes my life in ways it shouldn't. I find myself consumed by the lives of others, consumed by my thoughts, consumed with judgement, consumed with how I appear. I don't like that person, I'm constantly fighting that person.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about slowing down my life, I feel I've done a tremendous job so far. But God is consistently showing me areas in need of cleansing, areas in need of separation, and areas that need to be completely shut down in my life. I'm a work in progress. I'm better, but I'm no where near my full potential. 

Since starting my journey to work on my life about 2 years ago, I've been so grateful for the friendships God has restored and the friendships God has shown me to rid myself of. As I grow in my new determination to fully live for Him, I find odds against me. & that is why I'm slowly cleaning out even more areas of my life- such as social media. 

I want to be a person that makes others literally run towards Christ. I want to be a person that shows his mercy, his grace, his works through my life. I'm not sure when I'll get there fully, but I know I won't stop until I do. 

XOXOX,

Harmon Housewife

Simple Spaghetti Sauce

Did you know that there's people out there who literally don't know how to cook even spaghetti?? I assure you, there are. I'm often surprised when my friends ask me how to cook it. To me, it's such a simple meal. But, this is for all you  (I know you're out there) who honestly don't know how to cook a simple batch of spaghetti! If you can't boil water, you're out of luck because I don't have time to get that basic. ;) 

You can use any type of noodles you like, but I try to make gluten free as much as possible so we prefer the quinoa noodles. My store was all out so tonight we're using brown rice noodles! What's different about this spaghetti is the sauce. I used bottled up until we changed our eating in a big way. I worked on getting a sauce we like the best, & this is it! I'm a veggie girl, my smokin' hot husband is a meat man-& this sauce is a great compromise in between! 

Simple Spaghetti Sauce

Ingredients 

1 lb hamburger meat 

1 cup chopped pepper mix (red, yellow, orange) --I cut 3 whole peppers up & freeze them. I get about 3 cups from them all. I like the flavors of the mixed peppers.)

1 can tomato sauce (we use no salt added)

1 can italian diced tomatoes

2 tbsp sugar 

2 cloves garlic, minced 

1/2 tbsp dried basil

1/2 tbsp dried oregano

1/2 tbsp dried parsley flakes 

Directions

1. Brown meat in skillet with mixed peppers. 

2. Drain any excess fat if needed. 

3. Add garlic and stir. Add tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, spices, and sugar. 

4. Let simmer for 10 minutes. 

5. Top your noddles of choice with the sauce & enjoy! 

 I served my plate with 1 slice of toasted Ezekial bread - yum! 

How simple is that? But it's so tasty! My smokin' hot husband says it's his favorite. I'm not sure if he's telling the truth or if he's just smart. But I can tell you, this sauce is delicious! Happy cooking. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Living in the Moment

Lately, I've felt tremendously overwhelmed. I've been a horrible blogger. I've been so preoccupied that I honestly haven't even had anything to write about! 

But today, I feel the need to write about something that I'm really, really, really struggling with. Myself. 

It's hard to be everything three small kids need, my husband needs, my family needs, my friends need...myself needs. I've been feeling that all anyone wants from me is to give, give, give. I give. I've given all I can. & I've given out. 

I'm at this point to where if I don't do something, anything, just for me, I really think I might lose it! So, I've recently started waking up at 5 am (most days, when I don't turn my alarm off) to get 2 hours of time to myself. Work out, quiet time, me time. It has made my days entirely   better but I'm still feeling lost in my ever-long to do list, mommy duties, wife duties, and life duties. 

I'm not quite sure when I lost myself but I'm guessing it was somewhere in between diaper changes, trying to make family events/friend parties, & trying to be everything to everyone.

So, I want...no, I need to break away from the chaos outside of my home. I'm going to be a pretty bad friend for awhile. I'm considering deleting my social media accounts, temporarily, possibly permenately depending on if this helps my anxiety levels. 

I'll keep my play dates and my mommy groups, but I won't feel bad if I have to cancel. If I feel up to going, I'll go. If not, I won't. I refuse to be bound by obligation to unnecessary things. 

I'm obligated to my family, which is why I try to be everything. But I'm one person. I'm one person on the verge of having a serious meltdown if anything else comes my way. I'm getting rid of the noise outside of my enjoyable obligations. I want to be a mother. I want to be a wife. But I don't have to be a baby shower planner. I don't have to go to girls night. I don't have to keep every single play date/group. Those are choices. There is no choice for me in being a wife and a mother, that's natural. I wouldn't give that up on my worst day. 

I know I'll keep blogging because this blog is for me, it's also for others who can relate or just enjoy different views on aspects of life. I can't promise I'll blog often but I won't stop. But I've got to stop being so distracted by the world & everything in it, that I just feel lost. I'm taking a journey to say, "No". To declutter my life & the constant state of movement it's in. I'm saying no to busy. & I'm saying YES to life in the moment. 

XOXOX,

Harmon Housewife 

Joey

I always wanted a boy. Like, always. I never even wanted any girls. Three boys. That was it. But somehow, God gave me all I ever wanted. 

He gave me you. My sweet, lovable, funny Joey. A prince, in a house full of princesses. 

I love you so much that it makes my heart hurt. I love you so much that I never want you out of my arms. 

I love that you look and act just like daddy. You are daddy's little man, you are momma's little sweetheart. 

 

My sweet Joey. Always smiling, forever laughing. 

I don't want you to grow. I don't want you to date. I don't want you to ever lose your ability to laugh at the simple things. 

As my son, I love you different. I want different for you. I will hold you accountable differently. I don't love you less, I don't love you more-I love you different. 

You are the only, my only son. You are special, you are different. 

There will come a day when I am not the most beautiful woman you know. There will come a day when I will not get kisses.  There will come a day when you do not want a hug. I will hate those days. But I will take comfort knowing that your dad & I prepared you for those days. The day when you are no longer a boy, the day you are a man. 

But to me, you will always be my baby. My beautiful 6 pound 4 ounces, blue eyed, care free blessing. What a blessing you are. What a light you are to my life. 

& if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that you will be a light to others. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Intentional Play

So I've recently been doing activities with J again. It'd been about a month since I had actual intentional play activities. The move was a crazy month & I make no apologies for slacking a little. We still played, we still learned, but I had no deliberate learning opportunities planned. Sometimes, something's gotta give. J just had a really really really long spring break. ;) I've created a schedule to get us back on track. My kids all really thrive on their schedules. Of course, some days things don't work out as planned but most days the schedule goes pretty much as usual. I made this schedule based off of my family & encourage you to do the same if a schedule is something you need or want. Think of your usual days and go from there. 

Nothing fancy, something simple I wrote during nap time. But, it works like a charm! Not only does this work for J, but for the twins as well. I put the intentional play learning hour in a spot I knew I wouldn't be feeding the twins. This way I can solely focus on J. She needs individual time! Also, all of my children go to bed between 7:30-8 every night. So the bedtime routine/bedtime works for them as well. & they rise between 6:30-7 AM every morning. So, this works for us. Find what works for you! 

So there's our schedule. I keep this schedule along with intentional play ideas/plans in a red notebook. I work on it on Sunday nights to prepare me for my week. If possible, I gather/make materials needed on Sunday as well. As mentioned before, I really like play learning. The type of learning that simply takes place during play. How simple is that? 

So many times, we over think & miss simple learning opportunities. Think outside the box. I wanted to share with you some of my simple intentional play activities. 

Joseph's story: 

--The stories we are currently using come from her Young Readers Bible, she loves it! She's just recently really gotten into reading & I love that! I base our activities over the story we are reading! --

Anyways- for Joseph's story we talked about feelings. (Sad, happy, love) All the things we thought Joseph and his family felt. Then we talked about her brother & sister. I always try to make it significantly relevant to her and her life so that she might be able to grasp the concept of it. 

After our discussion, we worked on the activity I made. A simple piece of graph paper with colored squares, magnets, and endless possibilities. What did this "teach"?

-language development

-exposure to magnets(science)

-shapes

-recognizing colors

-counting

-fine motor skills

-following directions 

The above mentioned are areas I focused on, you can tweak this activity to fit your child's individual needs! She also picked out a colorful coat to wear "just like Joseph's". She really enjoyed herself! 

Moses' Story: 

We covered about 3 stories about Moses in her bible. While reading, I sat out "Moses". A baby doll in a basket! 

We again talked about feelings (a BIG area we're working on). & then we did "art". I don't necessarily like calling this art because it was a planned activity. But I'm not sure what else to call it. In the Harmon  House, we believe that art comes from free range play. Process rather than the product. But, that's another post :)

What does this intentional play activity "teach"? 

-language development

-counting

-personal care

-sequencing

-sensory exposure 

-social/emotional skills 

---

I will try to post more of my intentional play activities for you to enjoy. Try this out, with any story! Let me know how it goes!

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Fifteen

Oh Taylor, sing it girl. 

As I'm driving this AM, Taylor Swift starts singing straight to my heart with an oldie. Flashback to every high school meltdown that I thought my life would absolutely end over. This post goes straight to my girls from high school. I know we can not be the only girls who this song relates to. 

----

"Fifteen" 

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors

It's the morning of your very first day

You say "Hi" to your friends you ain't seen in a while

Try and stay out of everybody's way

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here

For the next four years in this town

Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say

"You know, I haven't seen you around before."

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen

Feeling like there's nothing to figure out

Well count to ten, take it in

This is life before you know who you're gonna be

Fifteen

You sit in class next to red-headed Abigail

And soon enough you're best friends

Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool

We'll be out of here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car

And you're feeling like flying

And your mamma's waiting up

And you're thinking he's the one

And you're dancing 'round the room when the night ends, when the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin around

But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team

But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted

Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind

And we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall

I've found time can heal most anything

And you just might find who you're supposed to be

I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

Your very first day

You take a deep breath, girl

Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors.

---

Ahhh, if that's not your high school life then clearly you missed out. Our worlds would shatter with every breakup, bad grade, ended friendship, and every rumor. But yet somehow, we made it out. & we've done greater things than we imagined in high school. Props to you girls. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife