"What will my children remember?"
If you're anything like me, I constantly ask myself after every battle, will she remember that? Will she remember I yelled? Will she remember I cried? & now I'm on the flipped side; I'm replaying the memories. I can't remember the times I got into trouble, or the times I talked back (even though I did this all too often), & I can't remember any specific days that were just terrible. What I do remember are the moments and times my nanny defined motherhood for me.
Oh, you didn't know motherhood has defining moments? It does. We just can't always know what we are "defining". We don't even realize it's being defined because for most, it's just what you do. It's just how you act. It's just how you love.
So this entry is dedicated to my main lady, the woman who would give up everything just to make sure I had it. The woman who defined motherhood.
I remember when things were really bad one night, you said God woke you up & you knew you had to leave right away. You saved us just in time, you are the reason I know God exists. I remember all the time you spent rocking me to sleep in the wooden chair that's still in your living room, that probably lasted until I was 5 because I just loved the songs you'd sing and the books you'd read. I remember praying with you every morning on the way to preschool.
I remember when I had eye surgery & you took care of me 24/7 because I couldn't open my eyes for a week. & I remember the day I did open my eyes you had to endure an entire day of the best show ever (Rugrats) because there was a marathon. I remember the Girl Scout "mommy & me" camping trip, I remember that I was embarrassed that I had to go with you because I didn't have a mom to take me. & then I remember how you tried to make it so fun and go completely out of your element so that I would forget that & enjoy myself. You never even take your shoes off in your own home, literally. & yet you walked in the dirt to take me to the bathroom because you couldn't find your shoes. I remember that we didn't bring any food with us because you didn't know we needed it so you drove an hour there & back to get groceries for us. & then everyone was so jealous because we had the best snacks.
I remember the day we moved into the Big Blue Mansion & you taught me how to make lasagna, I still can't cook lasagna without thinking of you. I remember that when you picked me up from school I would tell you I just HAD to have (whatever was in style) & you would say, "ok, let's go shopping!". I still blame you for my emotional shopping, but you did teach me a girl can never have too many shoes.
I remember going with you every year to market & we'd go to six flags while you shopped. But you always brought me something home. I remember you at every basketball game, track meet, school awards, and basically anything and everything you could come to. I remember when I wanted a $300 prom dress & papa said no, & you told him you were buying it. I remember how you would sing worship songs every morning because I could hear you before I even got out of bed, I was so annoyed & then when I finally moved out that was one of the things I missed the most & wished I could hear you sing again.
I remember how you spent 30 hours in a hospital while I was in labor with Jorgia & how you held my hand & cried with me & told me you wished you could take all the pain away. I remember the look on your face when I told you I was having twins & the look on your face when you held them for the first time.
I remember all the things you did for me & all you did with me.
You told me you were scared that you would forget, I told you it would be ok because I would remember.
I remember.
XOXOX,
Harmon Housewife
