Be an Encourager

This is my Jessa at 5:30 AM. I mean, I can't even handle the cuteness! We're just up chit chattin about life and bein best friends...as I sit here with this sweetie, I start thinking about something Joe said last night.  

- "The only thing I don't like about having twins is you don't get much time with either." -

I can't say I never thought this, but I don't think I've ever said it out loud. Sometimes I think moms are embarrassed to admit something like that, showing more attention to certain kids than others. But honestly, that's just how it is. When you have one child, you don't worry about spending time with them, it happens naturally. When you have three, it takes effort to make sure they get your individual attention at times.  When you have twins AND a toddler, you have to choose your time wisely. 

There are times throughout my day when I HAVE to let my twins cry. When I know they've been fed, diapered, and are okay...I have to spend time with J. Most of the time the twins will relax and enjoy some tummy time while we play but, like any 2 month old, sometimes they just want momma. The baby back pack has become a necessity of mine these days! But my kids know they're loved and know mommy stops to help or listen when needed. With two babies in my hand, when my toddler needs a drink or hands me a crown to wear, I do it. But at the end of the day, I'm worn down. &  Here are 3 things I wish someone told me about having twins (or more children):

1. It's ok to not have it all together. 

--I can't tell you how much pressure there is to have it all together. But I don't. & sometimes I have a magical day where dinners on the table right as Joe comes in, I've fed the babies, and J isn't throwing a fit. But most days? I'm handing Joe a bottle & a baby as he walks in, I've got a baby in my arms and a toddler "helping me cook", I'm covered in spit up and my hair is in a ponytail. & makeup? Just no. But all the kids are alive, happy, and loved. That's what matters. 

2. Its not as scary as you think. 

--I can't tell you how many times people said, "You'll have your hands full." Or something similar to that statement....& what did I think EVERYtime? "OBVIOUSLY." I do understand people aren't meaning to sound annoying but that's pretty much how it comes off. Be an encourager. The chances are, anyone becoming a twin mother or a mother for the 2nd, third, fourth time already has fears of her own. But the one thing I knew every time someone said that to me, yes, I will have my hands full but YES, God chose me to be their mother. Do you know how many people want twins? (I never did until I had them.) but here I am, 23 years old (at the time), and twins came naturally to us without a struggle of infertility or complications during pregnancy. That in itself is a blessing. If you're expecting a second child or twins, it's not as scary as you think. You will make it through, and you will be okay. 

3. Each child is different. 

--& yes this applies to twins. We had a few minor scares with my sweet Joey at the beginning of his life. There were a lot of doctor visits, tears, and worries for us about his health and future health. But now, he's perfectly healthy! & still 1-2 lbs less than Jessa. I constantly remind myself not to compare them. Many people assume twins do everything the same & together. False. They're different people and so are each of your singleton children. Don't compare milestones, praise your child for who they are. Celebrate their personal milestones. This is a constant effort for me, but I'm doing better every day. 

 So there I was at 5:30 in the morning with my Jessa, completely exhausted, but soaking in every second. I may not get to be this focused on her the rest of the day so this time, it matters. Night feedings (or early morning in our case) won't last for long. & now both my twins are sleeping & my toddler is doing an independent art activity. & as I watch her I think about all the times I held her as a baby. That toddler does not want to cuddle, does not want to be fed, she wants to feed herself. She tells me when she's napping or going to bed....one very short year ago she was only 6 months old, just starting to eat real food. It all passes too quickly. 

To any expecting mother, please remember these things. To anyone who knows an expecting mother, be an encourager. Be there to listen if she cries about it being hard, help her fold laundry, make her a dinner, tell her she's doing a good job. I wouldn't be the mother I am without all the support I have from my family and friends, they need your support and encouragement more than you think. 

XOXOX,

Harmon Housewife

All Things Life

                       Joe. 

My smokin' hot husband. I love this man more than I can explain. This man has held my hand through 30 hours of terrible labor and a rushed c section. This man has heard every dirty detail about my past. This man, this wonderful man, has loved this body of mine no matter it's size. He has stayed up and held my sick babies. He has held me while I cry. He laughs with me. He encourages me. He keeps me grounded. He keeps me sane. He holds me accountable. He loves me. Truly loves me, every part of who I am. I'm completely certain that God created us for each other. 

                     Jorgia. 

My first born wild child, my sweet J. She keeps me laughing and guessing her next move at all times. She's a lover, she's a fighter, she's curious, adventurous, and flawless. She healed every wound my heart and soul ever had by placing her sweet little hand in mine.

                         Joey.

 

The sweetest boy you'd ever meet. I'm convinced that there's something magical about a mother/son relationship. It's a completely different feeling than the love I have for my daughters. I've figured out that I love all of my children the same but in completely different ways. Joey has this personality just like his fathers. Constantly smiling, loves to be cuddled, loves to play, and this boy loves his momma. 

                           Jessa

My last baby. Although she was born only 1 minute after her brother Joey, she will never live down that she's the youngest. My serious sweetie who is just beginning to smile. I can already tell she's crazy independent just like her older sister. She rarely has to be held to stay calm. Jessa makes the sweetest coo's that will stop you in your tracks. She enjoys when you talk to her & when I tell her how pretty she is. I'm proud and THRILLED that she favors me.  All of my children are beautiful, but Jessa you can actually tell is mine. I can assure you that even though my oldest, J, looks like daddy, that girl is all momma. Sass for days.

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My family makes me who I am. But I was a person before them too....

           The Harmon Housewife

I graduated from Northeastern State University where I majored in Early Childhood Education. That's where I met my smokin' hot husband. Things I enjoy doing by myself are hiking, reading, working out, and talking with other mommas. I love cooking and trying new recipes. This blog is all things about life from being a wife, a mom, a Christian, a friend. Anything, it's open ended and you'll never know what you're going to read. I like to keep things exciting that way. 

XOXOX,

Harmon Housewife 

Why I Love Sensory Play

Every week in my house, we're doing a lot of sensory activities. I always try and incorporate other learning aspects into the activity as well but sensory and explorative play are MAJOR in the Harmon House. Here's why:

1. As young kids, you learn with all senses. In this critical time your child decides what is relevant & irrelevant in their minds. By exposing your child to different textures, sounds, explorative play, etc. you're helping them be able to experience their world in the future to their highest capability.

2. Ummm...what child doesn't love to touch EVERYTHING?! This is the perfect opportunity to do so. Let them touch, let them explore.

3. Messy is ok in our house! I'm 100% convinced that messy play is great play. Now, I'm not saying there are activities that aren't great that require little or no clean up, I'm simply saying that there are many great learning opportunities to be had when you let your child get a little messy. They're learning to do things for themselves. & you can be sure that J is always involved in the clean up! & I'm pretty impressed that my 19 month old picks up *mostly* when she's asked. Obviously, we have occasional breakdowns.

...so now you're thinking, "I'm so busy, I don't have time to make things!" YES YOU DO! I make sensory bins, activities, toys, etc. usually in less than 15 minutes! & I always do it while the kids are sleeping. Here are a few ideas to help a busy momma or daddy like myself:

Sensory Bins:
Circle Bin: lids, small balls, cherrios --ANYTHING in your home laying around that's a circle!
Treasure Hunt: colorful cut tissue paper, play jewelry
Flour: flour, measuring cups, small bowls, spoons

Sensory Bottles:
Water bottles filled with Pom poms, Popsicle sticks, beads, buttons, straw, etc.  ANYTHING around your house --it doesn't have to be hard, use real life things that your child will be exposed to!

Let your child help you cook! Let them touch, taste, explore!

Go on a family walk. Talk about what you see, use descriptive words. Let them walk independently (safely, obviously).

I hope these ideas help you. Just remember, keep it simple, keep it fun. Your child doesn't care how much you spent on the activity, they care how much time you spend with them doing the activity.


Be checking back for a special post on how to make simple sensory sheets!