What I Want My Kids to Know About Daddy

1. He leads this home.

-He is the leader in this house and I am his equal. Wait...how's that work? Simple. I trust Daddy with any and all aspects of our life. Daddy respects my opinions, concerns, and decisions. However, if Daddy needs to make a life decision and can't consult with me before doing so, I trust him. If Daddy doesn't agree with my opinion, I trust him. We are different people who see things differently, but ultimately, we want the same thing for each of you and our family. I stand beside him at all times. I will not be against Daddy in any choice he makes, I am on his team. I stand beside him. & together, we stand by you. 

2. He is not Superman.

-Daddy does not have super strength. Daddy does not fly. Daddy is human. He will make mistakes, he will get tired, he will not always be able to save you. But he will try. Daddy will do anything he can do to keep you from harms way, to lead you in the right direction, to keep you happy. But in the end, Daddy's job is not to save you, it is to teach you how to save yourself. He will be your right hand man, your side kick, your biggest supporter, and your shoulder to lean on. But Daddy will also be the one who pushes you to your limit, who challenges you to be better, and who helps you pick up the pieces when things seem unfixable. Daddy is not Superman, but he is the closest thing to it that you will find here on earth.

3. He was there.

-Daddy was there. During the 30 hours of labor, during the c section, during the pregnancies, during the sleepless newborn nights, he was there. Not only was he there, but he held my hand and helped me move forward when I wanted to stop. When I didn't want to push anymore, he told me to keep going. When we did a rushed c section, he was my peace. When I couldn't walk, couldn't get up, when I couldn't do anything but lay down after a long day during the pregnancies, he was there. He was there during night time feedings, he was there to comfort you, he was there to comfort me. Daddy is gone a lot because Daddy works to give us everything. But we are his number one priority. Daddy wants to be with us every day but he can't. So Daddy has trusted me to keep you, care for you, teach you. Just because you can't see Daddy doesn't mean he's not there. He's calling, he's texting, he's face timing. All while doing his job. Daddy works outside this home & Daddy works inside this home. So when you look back at the pictures of our days & ask "Where's Daddy?" I'll tell you, he was there. Because Daddy is & always will be there.

4. He is not just Daddy. 

-He is a husband. He is a son. He is a brother. He is a friend. He is a person. Eventually you will learn who Daddy is outside of Daddy. But until then, I will remind you. You come first, but Daddy still has to take care of Daddy. & when you're upset because Daddy isn't home, I will remind you that Daddy is not only ours. I will remind you that in addition to all Daddy does for us and others, Daddy needs to do things for himself as well. I will remind you that Daddy deserves things for himself. I will remind you that Daddy is first "Daddy" but also that he is much, much more. & I will remind you, that if Daddy had to choose 1 place to be for the rest of his life, it would be next to you. 

5. Daddy will never be enough. 

-Daddy will try to give you everything your small hearts desire. Daddy will try to keep you happy, Daddy will try to keep you safe, & Daddy will try to be all you need. But Daddy will never be enough. Only one person will ever be able to never fail you, Jesus. Luckily for you, Daddy has a close personal relationship with Jesus. Daddy will show you how you can have a close personal relationship with him too. So that when the time comes when Daddy is not enough, Jesus will be. 

I want you to know so many things about Daddy that I feel are important. I want you to know he is funny, he is smart, he is kind, he is handsome, and that he is rare. I will always remind you that many others do not have a Daddy like yours, I will always remind you that many would give anything to have a Daddy like yours, I will always remind you that Daddy is irreplaceable. 

It's important for you to know much more about Daddy than just his title that you gave him. You are lucky to have him and we are lucky to have each of you. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

I Was Wrong

My daughter slapped me across the face yesterday. Literally, slapped me across the face. I was pissed. I looked at her like I was in pure crazy mode & the surprise on her face shut my crazy down in a hurry. I was going to yell. I was going to grab that same hand that slapped my face and drag her to time out. I was pissed. But when I saw that look upon her face, all I suddenly felt was guilt. 

Moments leading up to this my twins were crying uncontrollably. I was spit up on. I had gotten poop on my hand while changing a diaper. & it was Friday. The all time slowest day of my week. She wanted to read. I wanted to sit and hold babies who hadn't stopped crying for 25 minutes because I needed my sanity, I needed happiness. I said, "Mommy can not hold and read to you right now. I need to help your bubbie and sissy." SLAPPPP!

I couldn't believe it. I was in shock, I was infuriated, I was hurt, I was in an element unknown to anyone except a mother. I looked at her face and all I saw was my baby who needed me. 

I did tell her we DO NOT hit. But then I asked the question, "Why? Why did you hit mommy?" 

"I want to read."

I told her we don't always get what we want. We have to have patience. We have to be respectful of the time of others. We have to be loving. We have to use gentle hands and kind words. We have to share mommy. 

I lost it there. I started crying and I hugged my usually sweet J. She never asked to have to share me. That was a choice I made. That was a choice my husband made. But she, she did not make that choice. 

She has no idea why I can't do everything at all times for her. Although she is always trying to care for her bubbie and sissy, she is human. Humans have breaking points. Humans have feelings. Humans have needs. I have not been meeting her needs. 

This is not one instance where I can totally know this. Once I starting thinking, I realized how incompetent as her mother I've been. She's always asking for other people. Daddy, Nonnie, Papa, Papi...I hated it. But she wanted me there. If I left, she asked about me. Wanted me. But if I was there, she wouldn't play with me. But I knew why she played with them, she gets undivided attention. No one is rushing off to clean spit up off the floor. They don't sit in a chair and rock babies while she plays alone. I knew why, I just put it in the back of my mind and buried it. Because I was doing what I needed to do. I was trying. & until yesterday, that was enough for me.

I told myself that when Joe came home, she needed time with him. She needed his attention because I gave her mine intermittently throughout the day. 

I was wrong. 

She needs my attention because intermittently isn't enough. She deserves more. She deserves a mother who showers her with love, with attention, with kindness. I tell her I love her, I do things for and with her. But I am not always kind, I am worn out on most days and I lose my temper when I shouldn't. I am not always able to show full attention. & I expected her to understand for someone unknown reason. I was wrong. 

Here's the thing about explaining to your 2 (almost) year old that you were wrong: you can't. She doesn't understand. She understands I'm sorry, which I did say. But she will never understand how much guilt or just how sorry I actually am until she is a mother. But what she can understand are my actions. She watches my every move. She wants to be me. She cooks, she cleans, she cares for babies, she loves. She loves me so much and all I saw was her wanting others. I didn't see a heart that was aching for mommy. 

I see it now beautiful girl, I see it now. 

Today, I did not baby wear and push a stroller while she walked with Joe at the museum. I walked and we talked. We looked at the flowers and we looked at the art. We spent time, undivided time. Today, I did not sit with the twins while at the splash pad while Joe took her to play.  I played. We had fun. We had so much fun. She hugged me for no reason. She told me, "Mommy awesome!". Which in her tiny vocabulary means, "Mommy you are awesome." My heart could've burst. 

Tomorrow, I will take time just for her. The next day, I will do it again. & the day after that. & the day after that. You see, I was wrong. I was totally and completely wrong. But I did not fail. Failing would mean I gave up. Failing would mean that I do not admit my shortcomings as a mother. Failing would imply that I am not willing to change. 

I was wrong, but I can fix this. She might remember all the times I'm wrong as her mother, but I know she'll also remember how I came back from it. If all I can teach her from my shortcomings is how to come back from them, I think that's a pretty good lesson. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

From This Anniversary to Our Last

Three years ago, I was getting ready to marry my smokin' hot husband. I was dreaming about his face as I would walk down the aisle in the most amazing dress I had tried on. I was thinking about the week we would spend in Jamaica. I was thinking about all that life would bring us in the future. I was smitten. I was crazy in love. I was hopeful. 

Today, I am in workout clothes.. I'm wearing my usual ponytail with my usual clean, no makeup face. I am thinking about how that trip in Jamaica was the last time I'll ever wear a bikini on the beach. Today, I am in the present, that was once our future. I am still smitten. I am still crazy in love. & I am still hopeful. 

I am still smitten with the boy I fell in love with. I am smitten with the man he has become. I still get butterflies when he kisses me. I still get excited when he's in his way to see me from work. I still look forward to just being in his presence. I am still smitten with all he was and all that he is. 

I am still crazy in love with the boy I married. I am crazy in love with the man he has become. This man, who is everything and more that I need him to be. I still love when he asks me on a date. I still love when he texts or calls me randomly in the middle of the day to tell me I'm pretty. I am still crazy in love with all that he was and all that he is. 

I am still hopeful of what our future will bring. I am hopeful every day. I am surprised each year by what has come, what has gone, and what we have planned. My dreams, his dreams, mending into our dreams. 

The people we were, we no longer know. I have fallen in love with the man I am married to today. I continue to fall in love with who he is each day. Today, he is a father, a man with a growing career, a Godly man, a caring man, my man. Tomorrow, I do not know what he will be. But I do know this to be true, he will always be my man. I will continue to pursue who he is each day, so that I may love him each day in new ways. 

We have been on the fast track from day 1. Two weeks after being together, we said "I love you." Soon after, we knew it was forever. Four months after marriage, we found out we were expecting our sweet J. & here we are, the day of our third anniversary, with three amazing children. 

What was on once 2, became 5. The life we've built, the laughs we have shared, the love we have is what makes my life so wonderful. I will always love him from this anniversary to our last. 

Proof I'm lucky:

A picture of tonight's date after all the fun things he planned for me today. Surprised me with a full day off, Skyzone, Los Cabos for lunch, 4 mile bike ride along riverside, then dinner :)

XOXOX,

Harmon Housewife

Summer Activities

Having to plan things for your kids can get expensive! Especially when you want to keep them occupied & busy but also continuously learning. So that's why I've compiled a list of what our summer in the Harmon House will look like. These activities are basically free. Aside from lunches, snacks, etc that you'll need to bring or do. The best way to save money is by using what you have. I can't stress this enough. Doing an art activity? Use scraps! Lunch time? Grab different leftovers/snacks & build a variety plate. Get creative & get resourceful. Fun does not depend on the amount of money spent! 

Here's some things I have planned:

1. SPLASH PADS. Splash pads are awesome for several reasons. But just let me list a few: 

-socialization. Afraid of going alone? Don't be. Someone will be there. Who knows, maybe you'll meet a new Mom! 

-perfect for hot weather

-engaging. Most splash pads have great hands on equipment kids can use and explore with. 

2. Park Picnics. Every kid loves the park. Want to get out of the house but just for a little? Pack a picnic & head to the park! 

3. Mall! The mall is perfect for those terribly hot days. You can get a nice walk, look around with your kiddos, & end or begin at the play area! Invite a friend or meet someone new. The play area is always filled with parents & their little sweeties! 

4. Start a play group. I am always seeing posts from mommas who want to get together with kids in their child's age range & visit with other moms. Start a group! Take turns hosting it & planning the days activities. Have each family bring their own lunch or a dish to contribute to the meal! 

5. VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL!!! Sign your kids up! I'm so excited to volunteer at ours this year and it is AMAZING what we have planned. I'm sure you can find a great one no matter what area you're in! 

6. Libraries. SO many libraries have summer reading programs and story times. Look around! This will be my first year to do this with J & I'm looking forward to seeing her enjoy reading (hopefully). Our library also has a toddler time we will be going to this summer! 

7. Scavenger hunts. I love doing these with J. Since she is still learning new words every day I do her hunts very open ended. I describe things I'd like her to find. This helps me evaluate her comprehension skills. I'm usually pretty impressed at what she brings me! For older ones, you could do it more centered towards a certain subject (alphabet, math, nature, life skills, etc). 

8. Site see!!! There are so many things in every area/town that as adults we take for granted. Start taking advantage! Go for a stroll & explore your city with the kids. Or explore your favorite parts if the city. I see several downtown walks in my family's summer! Make a list of things you want to see in your city & mark them off as you go! 

 

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I hope these activities help to kick your creative juices in & get you moving with your kids this summer. Don't worry about the money, the perfect activity, or the plans. Don't forget to enjoy the time with your kids- that's what they will remember. They may not remember the day, the time, the place...but they'll remember the time you shared. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Chicken & Kale Enchilada Casserole

I'm obsessed with enchiladas. Obsessed. I'm always trying new ways to create them. And my ideas usually turn out pretty wonderful. But tonight, I was kindof skeptical. I bought Kale to make smoothie packs for my husband & I. I'm not too much of a fan of Kale but I've read so many benefits to the green so I'm curious to find a way to eat it more! I only used about half the bag for the smoothie so I still had a lot left & no clue what to do. I came into the kitchen to start prepping dinner & I see this beautiful bag of Kale saying, "Use me! Use me!". So I thought, "Why not?!" 

That's when a magnificent recipe was born. 

I'd also like to say, I'm a mom of 3 kids under the age of 2. So I don't have time to roll enchiladas, so when I say we're having enchiladas, I actually mean we're having enchilada casserole. It's delicious either way so I make no apologies. None. 

I make my own enchilada sauce simply because I like it. It really doesn't take a lot of extra time & I always have the ingredients on hand because I cook the majority of our meals from scratch. If you're busy or don't have the spices for your own enchilada sauce, don't sweat it.  Canned sauce will work just as good! 

Give this simple recipe a try on your next Mexican night! 

For the sauce:

Ingredients: 

2 cans no salt added tomato sauce 

1 tbsp garlic powder

1 tbsp cumin

1/2 tbsp onion powder 

1/2 tbsp chili powder

1/2 tbsp oregano 

Directions:

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl and set aside. 

For the chicken mixture: 

Ingredients:

2 chicken breast, boiled & then shredded

1 cup boiling broth (or water if using pre packaged chicken)

8 oz kale (1/2 bag)

1/2 tbsp onion powder

1/2 tbsp chili powder

1/2 tbsp garlic powder 

1 tbsp cumin 

2/3 cup Greek yogurt 

1/4 tsp garlic powder (for kale) 

Salt & pepper (for kale)

Directions: 

1. Put 1 cup of your boiling water (what you cooked your chicken in) into a sauce pan. Add kale. 

2. Sauté kale until wilted, add 1/4 tsp garlic powder, & salt & pepper to taste. 

3. Mix in chicken, Greek yogurt, & remaining spices. 

4. Mix all ingredients together until you get a good mixture that's thick & creamy. 

For the casserole:

Ingredients:

18 corn tortillas 

Enchilada sauce

Chicken Mixture 

1 cup of cheese

Directions: 

--set oven to 375 degrees 

1. Spray pan with nonfat cooking spray. Pour a little enchilada sauce onto bottom of the dish & spread around. 

2. Layer 6 corn tortillas to cover bottom of dish, top with more enchilada sauce. (Not to much, just enough to keep the tortillas moist & flavored!)

3. Layer 1/2 the chicken mixture onto tortillas, top with sauce (just enough to cover). 

4. Add 6 corn tortillas, a little more sauce, & the last layer of chicken. 

5. Add the remaining corn tortillas, top with your sauce. (I had a little too much sauce so I stored it in the fridge). 

6. Top with 1 cup freshly shredded Colby jack cheese.

7. Bake for 45 minutes. 

& my favorite part:

Enjoy! 

Now, I'm not saying this is THE best enchilada casserole I've ever made, but I am saying- it was pretty close. & since on top of it being absolutely wonderful it's also healthy? HECK YES! I served ours with corn on the cob & ranch beans. We all enjoyed this meal & yes, that's including my toddler :) meals in the Harmon House must be toddler approved! 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

Momships

Before you had kids, all you had were friendships. After kids, you had friendships & then you were introduced to Momships.

Momships are pretty much like friendships except you're really only getting together because your kids play well. If you're really lucky, your Momship will turn into a friendship. & if you're really really lucky, a friendship with sail over into Momship when your both in the same stage of life. 

But Momships are entirely different than friendships in two key areas: 

-defensiveness 

-forgiveness 

Ok, let's be honest, when your kids are involved, how many of you get entirely too defensive? (My hand is raised.) You literally cannot try & tell a mom anything negative, "constructive" criticism, or different views on subjects that particular mom is passionate about. Example:: someone tried to tell me that I shouldn't babywear because it will make my children too dependent. ---I'm an avid baby wearer & wish I had more wraps/carriers. Obviously, I fully disagree with that statement so it got me pretty heated! Another example:: breastfeeding/bottle feeding. This is not an area you want to go with any mom if you're close minded on either side. & then that brings me to forgiveness, it's entirely harder to forgive Momships because it's usually disagreements over your kids or parenting. 

Let's be clear about this, I'm 100% guilty of being on both sides. But I really do try to be open to pretty much all things. Why? Because I also 100% believe that every mom out there is just trying to do what's best for her kids, her family, and her self. I feel as if sometimes, it's just hard to see past what we want because we always feel our way is THE way. 

& I've finally come to the conclusion, there is no ONE way to parent effectively. I actually read that on a blog awhile back & I'm paraphrasing here but he basically said, "If there are a million kids out there, there are a million different ways to parent. " 

Wow, way to slap me in the face with some stone cold truth! I've never read a more accurate statement about parenting. 

So I'm basically writing this so that maybe other moms can see that statement, & maybe it can save your Momships. 

"I don't need Momships!" - says the doubting homebody mom. 

Yes, you really do. Here's why: 

1. Momships share & fully know "the struggle". --you're late? No problem. Been there. You yelled at your kids today? Don't beat yourself up. Been there. You have to cancel literally last minute? Absolutely no problem, been there. 

2. Momships have full open range to brag about your kids. You can totally send your Momship a picture of your kids doing nothing but being cute. Why? Because they get it. 

3. Momships are totally cool with your messy house. Need I say more? 

4. Momships are completely okay that you're in the sweatpants from yesterday & that you can't exactly remember if you put deodorant on that morning. But, your kids look adorable. That's what matters. 

5. Momships have the potential to be the greatest friendships of your life. Let it happen. Enjoy the struggle, the joy, & the bond that comes with motherhood. 

I only wish I had known these things about Momships while pregnant with J. I'm just now seeing the greatness that comes with Momships and I feel so blessed God's brought me moms to share life with. I cherish my Momships, because most have turned into genuine friendships. 

XOXOX, 

Harmon Housewife

A Work In Progress

There's something beautiful about going off the grid. It's like a cleanse of all things unnecessary. I finally deactivated my Facebook today, I felt excited. I felt happy. I felt free. I haven't decided if it is a permanent thing or if it's temporary, but I know that for now, it's what I needed. 

Social media literally consumes my life in ways it shouldn't. I find myself consumed by the lives of others, consumed by my thoughts, consumed with judgement, consumed with how I appear. I don't like that person, I'm constantly fighting that person.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about slowing down my life, I feel I've done a tremendous job so far. But God is consistently showing me areas in need of cleansing, areas in need of separation, and areas that need to be completely shut down in my life. I'm a work in progress. I'm better, but I'm no where near my full potential. 

Since starting my journey to work on my life about 2 years ago, I've been so grateful for the friendships God has restored and the friendships God has shown me to rid myself of. As I grow in my new determination to fully live for Him, I find odds against me. & that is why I'm slowly cleaning out even more areas of my life- such as social media. 

I want to be a person that makes others literally run towards Christ. I want to be a person that shows his mercy, his grace, his works through my life. I'm not sure when I'll get there fully, but I know I won't stop until I do. 

XOXOX,

Harmon Housewife